I get bombarded with all these ads that are like “The Richest People Do This!’ and “The Healthiest People Do These Three Things Daily” and “How to Win at Everything.” Well damn. I didn’t realize that I was loosing. The truth is these adds hook me and then leave me totally disappointed. I have yet to find one that was just going to help me. One that didn’t want some stupid amount of money or to send me constant emails to “inspire” change. I can be inspired all I want, but there seems to be an action step that I am missing in order to truly bring about change. I believe that action step is acceptance.
These, oh so helpful, ads tell you that there is something wrong with you. You don’t meditate enough. You don’t eat enough veggies. You don’t invest enough time, money, energy into whatever. Basically that you are not enough. Or maybe you are just a little too much and that you need to stop doing this or that or the other thing you enjoy. It gets under my skin that I can get sucked in and dropped down like that when I know that I am here, for whatever reason I am here for, and that me being me could some how be wrong.
I, as a person, am not wrong. (I will however admit to being wrong about all sorts of other things.) My existence is not wrong. It took so many crazy things to happen in order for me to be where I am and who I am, that there has to be a purpose for me to be. You, as a person, are not wrong, either. There is a reason you are here. you are meant to be here. We need to accept that we are here, as we are, and move forward (or sideways, or upside down, who am I to judge).
Turns out it’s really hard to change the habits that we have if we don’t accept them as being a part of who we are, at this moment. I can’t get rid of something that’s not mine. So I need to lay claim to the things I dislike about myself, first. Before anything else can happen I must accept myself as I am. You do too.
It’s not just about acceptance, it’s also is about non-judgement. The more you hate yourself for the person you are, the more likely you will turn to those habits you don’t like. So eat that slice of cake without hating yourself. Binge watch you favorite 90’s shows. Spend the whole day reading. Just do it and enjoy. The guilt will eat you alive, but the enjoyment of the activity will give you life. Maybe the act of pure enjoyment will actually feed your soul and fuel the change that others are trying to “inspire” you to do.
I’m not saying that this system is perfect, but I am saying that beating yourself up for things you do is more harmful than the doing of the things. To hate yourself is crazy and cruel. We are our own worst enemy, but what if we weren’t? What if we were to let our desires come and go without the judgement and self hatred? What if we could just be?
I challenge you to find a thing you dislike about yourself and open up to the possibility of accepting it as a part of you, even just temporarily. I’ll do this with you. I am super sensitive. I cry over things so quickly you’d think I was actually, personally, affected. I avoid anything that I think might make me cry, for fear of judgement from myself and others. Starting today I will accept my tears as part of me and not avoid life because it might make the water works flow. I will feel and then move on. No judgement. No fear. No hatred. It sounds so freeing. I wish I had started this earlier.
I’ll let you know how this goes and I would love to hear your acceptance stories as well.
Good luck and I believe in you.