I recently had surgery. That is my chosen excuse for not writing, or doing, anything for two weeks. I figure it was for the best, because who knows what I would have written with all those drugs in my system. Probably something I would later have to apologize for. Good job me for knowing myself so well and preventing a disaster. Also, I really did feel like crap. I don’t recommend surgery to anyone, but ask me in a few weeks and I may have changed my mind.
Anyway, let’s move forward, shall we.
While I was in a funk after this surgery, I forgot myself and threw a bit of a pity party. No one came and the food was terrible. Come to find out, I don’t really like that side of myself. She’s whiny and blames everyone for her problems. It had to be the doctor’s fault I was in pain, or the nurse’s fault for the rash, or pain medications that don’t work like they’re supposed to. I know surgery is a big deal and I know that misery may well happen after, but the truth is I wanted someone else to take responsibility for me. I let my mom do it, and gave her a burden she accepted, but didn’t want. I love you, Mom!
You see, I did the things that brought me to where I am. No one, but me, is responsible for my life and my actions. Where I am and where I am going is all my responsibility. This doesn’t mean that I am at fault or to blame for everything that happens, but I am responsible for what I do with what happens. I am not to blame for the allergic reaction I had to something I was given, but I am responsible for how I react and how I try to improve the situation. The choices I make are mine to live with. If I give someone else my responsibilities, I have to live with their choices.
I often hear people laying blame on others for things, but never seeing the possibility that they are responsible for some, or all, of a situation. I understand that somethings can suck, but are you making it harder on yourself, and others, by dwelling, fighting, making demands, or playing the victim instead of taking responsibility for what you can and letting go of the rest. You can’t control others, I’ve tried and it backfires every time, but you control you. Everyday the choices you make have the biggest impact on you. When you don’t take responsibility for yourself you give your power away.
I’m not perfect, and would never want to be, but I refuse to give my power away. I won’t let my past darken my future. I won’t let others’ thoughts and opinions become my own. I won’t be a victim of circumstance. I can only improve myself and watch the world around me improve. That is my responsibility.
So, I’m wondering if there is anywhere in your life that is feeling dark and unhappy. Is there a situation where you feel like you have zero control and others have power over you? It happens, but it’s not hopeless.
If you really, truly can’t do anything then relieve yourself of the pressure and the stress of worrying over something you can do nothing about. It will allow you to enjoy your life more fully. If you feel like a victim, how can you take your power back? I guarantee that there are choices that you can make that can change and, ultimately, improve a situation. If you are letting your past dictate your future, or your future dictate your present, then you are missing out on the happiness of now.
I really want you to understand that your life, your health, your happiness is all your responsibility. Another person cannot do or be these things for you. They may be able to help you see the possibilities within yourself, but only you can do something with what you’ve been shown. A lover can show you how to be loved and can leave, but if you love yourself then love is not gone. You can be taught how to care for yourself, but your choices determine your health. You can be a victim or you can be empowered. Ownership of your life will have a surprisingly positive impact on your life.
I dare you to try it.
This can be a very touchy subject for many people, so I encourage you to reach out to me if this is something you are struggling with. I always encourage people to talk with me and I welcome differing opinions. No one way is good for every person.
Have a wonderful day.