Through my talks with people I find that it is super common to be multiple people, or to wear multiple “hats.” We are parents, spouses, employees, bosses, homemakers, etc. It’s wonderful to be able to be all these people, but are we losing ourselves in the process? Who are you when you can drop your responsibilities? Do you even know who that person is? When was the last time you saw yourself?
Often we lose ourselves in trying to be everything for everyone. We give our all only to have nothing left for ourselves, or of ourselves. This leads to burnout and burn-up. We are the last to be cared for in the process of caring for others. We think we are being selfless, but the truth may be different. What if you were actually being selfish?
I know… That sounds crazy. But think about it.
If day in and day out we are only ever giving of ourselves and never trying to replenish what has been given it would be easy to see how soon we quit giving 100%. It drops down to 70%, then 30%, then we have nothing left to give. It’s like a cup that was once full, but has been used and never refilled. We can no longer give 100% to what’s important. I don’t know about you, but I hate the idea of giving my son my all only to realize that it’s just 50% of my best.
I understand that this idea can be a real downer, but I wanted to get you thinking. Do you feel whole? Are you filled to the brim and able to be 100% you and give the best version of you to everyone who needs it? Or are you falling short? Giving till you have nothing left will make you sick, stressed, unhappy, depressed. Then suddenly you can’t be there for anyone at all. So now, who’s being selfish? The person who cares for themselves so that they may better care for others, or the person who gives everything only to need others to care for them.
Fortunately there are ways to care for ourselves that cost little, but have a great impact. These practices cost nothing but time, but in the end will give you more time. Just try a few and see.
Breathe. In through you nose out through you mouth. Long deep breaths. 10x
Meditate. There are free apps and videos out there to use. Start with 5 min a day then increase.
Nature. A walk in the park. Sitting outside. Spontaneous adventures. 30 min will do wonders.
Friends. True friends. Ones that fill you with life, not drain you of it.
Journal. Write down whats bothering you, or your hopes and dreams, or whatever feels right. A “brain dump” gives space for new ideas to emerge.
Clean. I know this sounds terrible, but hold on. Clean something that has been bothering you. You do it for yourself and there is satisfaction in it’s completion. Just try it.
I know there are tons of other ideas out there, but I just wanted to get your gears turning. I you have any other ideas you wish to share, comment. I’d love to hear about them. And, as always, I’d love to hear from you. Send me an email and maybe I can help you uncover what’s been missing in you life. Let’s talk.
Best of luck and thank you for your time.